Sunday, July 22, 2012

You know your mom is awesome when . . .

. . . you come home and she's snuggled up with your 11 month old, co-sleeping. ♥ ♥ She used to do that with us. She said right before I got there to pick the kids up, he had woken up and said, "Mama mama" but went right back to sleep in her arms. I can trust my mom with my heart and soul that she will always give my kids the very best of care. She and I are kindled souls when it comes to parenting. Thank goodness!
I bet at 52 and after having five kids of her own, now all grown adults, she very much enjoys a good co-sleep with a baby. It brings back memories, I'm sure. :)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Waiting . . .

I'm at work but I leave in a half hour (I know, already? But, pshhh, gotta keep my routine at home and I can get a few things done at work before I go) for my counseling appointment. This is my 7th? or 8th visit. I never went after my turmultuous childhood (remember, I've mentioned, abusive [verbally and physically only], insane father who has been out of the picture 10 years now since my mom filed for divorce/restraining order; I was 21 at the time). Anyhoo, in the earlier part of this year I started just feeling down about myself, "worthless", etc. Not even depressed but just like I was so stressed I couldn't focus and I just was kind-of fake, forced happy. Not ever around my children because they truly give me all I need and make my heart swell and overflow with happiness, but just in general. I felt like nobody liked me, people were annoyed by me, etc. I don't want to air my laundry out on here, but ... ugh, I'll just leave it at that. There was one contributing person in my life now and I figured if I started counseling, I could at least make heads/tails of my feelings because I can only control that part of it all.

Anyway, it's going well, the counseling. The guy insists I'm not crazy and he also tells me I'm "going places" and that I'm very motivated, and that I can really do anything I set my mind to. That was kind-of surprising to hear because I really don't possess that kind-of confidence.

I am waiting for the "all right, we're done with counseling; you're good to go" but so far have not gotten that green light ("We go green light, Go Weezy go" -- lol, sorry, rap reference for those who understand).

It feels good to open up about everything and not feel judged and have an unbiased perspective from a professional. I am a 100% honest kind-of girl, so I tend to just keep talking . . . as some of you may know.

Anyway, wish me luck. :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I'm so addicted.

I am so addicted to sparkling water. It's the best! I had realized recently that I was drinking and relying too much on Dr. Pepper. I was only having one a day but I started to crave it so bad that I was thinking about it as much as the average guy thinks about sex. So... a lot.

I traded out my Dr. P for Klarbrunn and it 1) makes me drink lots of water, and 2) gives me that fizz that I crave. I was never addicted to pop for the caffeine; it was always the carbonation.

Is there some kind-of group for carbonation addicts? Because I am sooooo there.

Sneaky me sneaking a pic for blog while trying not to look like a dumbass to possible passers-by

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Coming back to Blogland . . .

I was shocked to learn the other day that this past Monday, we lost one of our own in the "Bloggie World", as we call it. Nancy, who will always be remembered for her unique self-proclaimed "shnarkiness", witty sarcasm, adventurous personality (she enjoyed snowboarding, roller derby, and various alternative rock bands) leaves behind a husband and three children. I "met" her in 2006 on the WebMD message boards and while many of us were no longer active on the boards in recent years, I did follow her blogs.

I even got to talk to her on the phone once, to thank her for the socks she sent me (not just socks, these were knee high socks that roller derby girls wore and she sent them out to some of her online friends).

Another thing I will always remember about Nancy were her random lists of things that annoyed her. I always laughed to read these things because I could relate to her disdain for grammatical errors (especially easy ones, like the difference between "your" and "you're"), people on the road who don't know how to drive, and Christmas sweaters. Oh, I laughed so hard when she would talk about those sweaters from time-to-time.
I found her last comment to me and it makes me smile to read it, but I feel this sense of loss: wishing I had talked to her more, emailed her more, etc. It really freaking sucks that she passed away so young (if memory serves me correct, she would have been 40 this coming August, August 15th to be exact). Anyway, this was her last blog comment to me on one of my posts this past fall:

nancy said...
I love these lists of random things.

Funny you should talk about being under the covers. Until about the time I had kids, I could NEVER sleep with my feet uncovered, even if it was 120 degrees. I felt, for some reason, I was safe from the unknown with them covered. Like the chick from the ring would come out of my tv, plod towards me in her attempt to kill me and then have to give up and go back to the tv when she saw my feet were covered.
In the past year or so, Nancy didn't blog as much. So I think, in her honor, I am going to do my best to blog at least once a week. After all, I started my blog because I was inspired by her to do so. RIP, Nancy! You will forever have touched countless lives, and will be remembered by all as a fun and amazing (kick-ass!) woman and mother.