Sometimes it's too much.

I have many friends (online and in real life) with kids the same age as my oldest. I continue to see things they make at school. A friend just posted some adorable valentines she made with her daughter, who is actually younger than my oldest (she's 4; my son is almost 5.5). She printed both her classmates' name as well as her own.

Andrew still can't do this.

My heart breaks for him, so much that it brings tears to my eyes. We don't make a big deal out of it, but it makes me so sad because he has dyspraxia and he can't help it, yet when I see age-appropriate handwriting from kids his age and younger, it's like a little punch to the gut. I see some progress in school with his ability to trace lines and shapes, and some with the letter tracing, too ... but he cannot outright make a letter. And he's too young to realize that it will become an issue if things can't be fixed.

The truth is, in his interdisciplinary team meeting we had in October, they seemed to give me little hope that he would be able to write.

It doesn't change my opinion of him, as I am SO proud of him for all that he is and everything he has accomoplished thus far and they have assured me that not only is he smart, but he's highly intelligent, but still . . . I think of all the things I did as a kid (writing and drawing were two of my favorite things) and I hope that he can someday do those things as well.

I don't want the other kids to treat him differently if he ends up having to use a laptop in school. I know some probably will. I know the kids in his class love him, but pre-schoolers are so innocent yet and untouched by society, almost. For example, Andrew wants to someday marry a girl in his class. She happens to be black. Kids don't see color or differences, and I love that about childhood.

To my Andrew, I love you, just as you are. I will always love you, forever.