Monday, June 21, 2010

Mommy guilt.

How do you deal with it? Yesterday, Elise was napping so I decided it'd be a good time to run to the mall and find something with my $50 gift card (for Christmas, from my mom). The entire time I was gone, I just worried about her and wondered if she was awake, if she was wondering where I was, etc. I have a really hard time relaxing (and I was only gone for a total of an hour, including driving time, but it felt like an eternity). I kept wishing I had just brought her with! Andrew is okay when I'm gone because he was having fun playing in the back yard. Then, as I'm walking around the mall, I feel like I should have a shirt on that says, "I'm a mom and that's why I look like this"! Does anyone else ever think that? I have lost all my pregnancy weight plus 1 extra pound, but I am not as toned as I was 5 years ago and I always feel like people will think "ew" if they see me, yet if I have the kids with, at least they think "oh, she's a mom".

To make matters worse, I was shopping for shorts and couldn't find anyting I liked. Why does "the trend" these days have to be those ripped up shorts? I don't want to walk around looking like a dog attacked me more than I want to look like a frumpy mom (who turns 30 on Friday, by the way! Yikes!). I like cute shorts that are not "mom shorts" and not "slutty teen shorts", but something in between -- short, but not too short. I gave up on shorts yesterday, and instead found a pretty blouse and crop pants for work (dressier, non-everyday wear). I have recently found a love for dressy tops made from material that doesn't have to be ironed! They were both originally $30 and on sale for $17, so I still have some left on my gift card for next time. I'm keeping an eye out for some cute shorts but may have to wait until the mall opens a store for moms looking for cute, normal, non-momish clothing.

6 comments:

woman:confused said...

It took me a LONG time to remember how to do things for ME. Not the kids, not the "greater good of mankind", not the family but for ME.
I no longer have guilt.
My munchkin (also named Elise) used to get upset if I left her at home or did something without her. My son did too. Then, they saw that when I did stuff for me (sans guilt) I came back refreshed and was happier.
Guilt sucks. It takes time to get past it. Once you do, though, getting a pair of pants or having a drink with a friend once in a blue moon is a HAPPY moment, not filled with angst and worry and guilt :)

The Farmers Wife said...

I don't have mommy guilt...my oldest are teenagers and when they were little I did, but as they got older I grew to realize it was good for all of us when I took me time. I want a store for the 25-45 age range, I am not a teenager and I am not the frumpy mom yet and it is nearly impossible to shop as well...

Ali said...

I could have written this myself. Well besides the fact I haven't lost the baby weight and my youngest is 3. LOL! And I second the ripped jeans thing. What is with that?

Simple Complexity said...

Sarah, it took me 5 years before I did anything or myself. I have never been one to do things for myself anyways, but I had a harder time having Loralei. Now, I will go and do something as long as hubby is with her while I'm gone. Granted I have other circumstances as to why I can't just take off when I want and leave her with just anyone, but still, it is hard. I don't think it's so much mommy guilt as we want to be with our kids, we love it, but we want to do things on our own as well. It's being torn between 2 things. I think that is what finally got me over it. Knowing that it wasn't that I was feeling guilty for leaving her, but that I wanted both things or to have my cake and eat it too.

As for shorts, check out Target. I don't see the ripped shorts look here in stores as much as I do bermuda shorts etc....

Heather said...

My baby is 10 months, and I definitely feel the mommy guilt. It makes me feel sad and guilty anytime I leave the baby to do something for myself--even if it's a non-fun thing like getting an oil change. Ugh! I hope I grow out of it. Before I had the baby, I definitely did not think I'd be one to ever feel this way. Oh well. I think it means we really love our kids. :o)

As for shorts, have you tried Old Navy? I just got a cute inexpensive pair there. No rips! And I noticed they had their shorts arranged by length--so you can choose your shortness.

Rachel said...

I'm done with mommy guilt. I have finally embraced the fact that if I am happy and relaxed, I am a better mother. Everyone wins!