Mommy guilt.

How do you deal with it? Yesterday, Elise was napping so I decided it'd be a good time to run to the mall and find something with my $50 gift card (for Christmas, from my mom). The entire time I was gone, I just worried about her and wondered if she was awake, if she was wondering where I was, etc. I have a really hard time relaxing (and I was only gone for a total of an hour, including driving time, but it felt like an eternity). I kept wishing I had just brought her with! Andrew is okay when I'm gone because he was having fun playing in the back yard. Then, as I'm walking around the mall, I feel like I should have a shirt on that says, "I'm a mom and that's why I look like this"! Does anyone else ever think that? I have lost all my pregnancy weight plus 1 extra pound, but I am not as toned as I was 5 years ago and I always feel like people will think "ew" if they see me, yet if I have the kids with, at least they think "oh, she's a mom".

To make matters worse, I was shopping for shorts and couldn't find anyting I liked. Why does "the trend" these days have to be those ripped up shorts? I don't want to walk around looking like a dog attacked me more than I want to look like a frumpy mom (who turns 30 on Friday, by the way! Yikes!). I like cute shorts that are not "mom shorts" and not "slutty teen shorts", but something in between -- short, but not too short. I gave up on shorts yesterday, and instead found a pretty blouse and crop pants for work (dressier, non-everyday wear). I have recently found a love for dressy tops made from material that doesn't have to be ironed! They were both originally $30 and on sale for $17, so I still have some left on my gift card for next time. I'm keeping an eye out for some cute shorts but may have to wait until the mall opens a store for moms looking for cute, normal, non-momish clothing.