No apologies.

Sometimes he'll tell me things like, "you're too outgoing" or "you're definitely an extrovert."

So what?

Is it a bad thing to be "too talkative" or want to talk to people, even complete strangers? Hell, I could maybe make someone's day. What if I am at the clinic and someone is in the elevator and is having a bad day and I give that person a smile and he/she feels better, or wants to have a conversation?

I love people. Don't get me wrong: people can be bad people, annoying, or rude . . .  but overall, I think most people are good. Most people enjoy human contact. If they don't, I can usually tell the ones who want to keep to themselves. As part of my job, I interact with new people all the time as part of the interviewing/hiring process.

I enjoy life. Most of the time I am truly happy. I don't let much bring me down. It just bothers me that someone close to me gets "annoyed" by my personality because it is so different than his. And he doesn't see the day-to-day interactions I have and that people actually do like me (I think). I don't care that he's quiet, not a bit.

Do I annoy any of you? Be truthful!

I freaking love working out!

Seriously! It makes me feel amaze-balls. I now know what an "exercise high" is. Similar to birth euphoria, though not quite as good, in my opinion. :)

Fresh year, fresh outlook!

So, yeah. I had somewhat of a rough 2012. There were times I felt overwhelmed, down, and stressed to the max. I felt like there was so much to do both at home and at work and I felt I couldn't handle it. Not that I couldn't handle it like, "omigod, I'm going to kill myself or run away" because I don't think like that at all and have three beautiful children who are my everything, whom I live for, but something eventually had to happen. I took the counseling route and went roughly 10 times, and it really did help me out. I'm not just saying that . . . it was just good to talk to someone who cared and focused on what I had to say, and never did I feel I was being self-centered because I was focusing on my needs only at those sessions, but I guess that's the point of counseling. Shortly after finishing my counseling, I decided I wanted to join the Y. So that was mid-September and I've been going ever since.

And guess what, I feel amazing! At first I was a little intimidated because I tend to get "system overload" when I am at new places, particularly the Y where I didn't even know where to go (remember, my directionally challenged self has issues with this), so I asked for directions and had them explain where everything was, so at least I had that going for me. I started off swimming laps and did that 3 times a week for a month, and then I thought more and more about trying out an elliptical machine, you know, those intimidating contraptions I saw in college when I used to walk the track. Back then, I told myself that I'd never have the strength to use one of those and I'd end up looking like a fool.

So I ventured upstairs at the Y sometime in October and looked at the machines and hopped on and realized it wasn't bad at all. Amazingly, 10 minutes felt like an eternity! I then thought about doing weights, at the advice of some fellow workout girls, so I asked the Y worker to show me how to use the machines. I didn't really have a desire to bench press, so he showed me the Cybex machines. I started off light and slowly increased the weight amounts on the different machines to suit whatever I can handle.

About three months in here, and I am now doing 30 minutes on the elliptical and I feel so amazing. Last night, I had the best workout I had ever had, and felt as though I were on top of the world. I finish up with 15 minutes of weight training. (P.S., having an mp3 player helps to not focus on the time! Plus when I hear a good song, I want to keep listening and exercising.)

It's all crystal clear now: my house is clean and I'm keeping up with it so that stress isn't there, although I am busy at work, I am tackling things top-priority down, and working out has given me such a great positivity, more than I ever could have imagined it would. I'm even reading again! I had read a bunch of novels when I had Jameson 16 months ago and was on maternity leave, but hadn't done any reading since. More reading, less Facebook is part of my New Year's resolution.

I am thinking 2013 is going to be a great year for me. With a positive outlook and reflection on how far I've come (mentally and physically), it's motivation enough for me to keep a smile on my face. I can handle anything.


Not the best picture of me, but I'm smiling and took it just for this blog post. :) So there.


Do I still have readers?

Product LOVE!!

I don't do these very often, but the other day, I was just about out of my mineral make-up (which, anyone who knows me, knows that I love mineral makeup and have been using it 5 years now, singing its praise) so I combed the shelves at Walmart, looking for something I could use in the interim until I could place another Everyday Minerals order online. I wasn't patient enough to wait and I certainly can't go out in public with NOTHING on my face, yet I like the natural look of mineral make-up.

After about five minutes of reading ingredient labels on the back of a few products (I need paraben-free first and foremost, and as natural as possible), I found this: Physicians Formula Tinted Moisturizer.

At first I was a little leery: would a tinted moisturizer provide enough coverage to be sufficient? I used to have pretty bad skin (my teen years, I tried everything over the shelf and everything prescription-wise, including the dreaded Accutane, which I did 2 rounds of), but now it's not too bad, but what I like is an even look to the skin. So I bit the bullet (about $10) and figured for that price, it was worth a try.

Verdict: I applied it the next day (I actually used it over my regular moisturizer after I let it dry) and wow!! GREAT coverage! Not heavy at all and it gave my skin a natural look with a bit of a glow. I used the "light to natural" shade and it's perfect for my "regular" shade, and will probably try the shade one darker (tan or something) for summer. It does have somewhat of a strong scent, but it's not terrible. It gives a slight tingling feeling just after you've applied it (kind-of like when you use a minty balm on your lips) -- the feeling doesn't linger or anything. I will be stocking up on this product because one bad thing about Walmart, at least around here: sometimes they will run out of something and it takes awhile to get back in, or sometimes they stop carrying a product. Besides, I have this thing with stockpiling things I love. Don't be hatin! Sorry, Everyday Minerals, but I have found a better product! And I can buy it easily without having to wait 4 days for my order. And it's reasonably priced!

Here is the item description:

Certified organic by ECOCERT, Organics Wear guarantees the genuine practice of environmental respect through the formulation and manufacturing of this powder.

• 100% natural ingredients
• 100% free of harsh chemicals, parabens, GMOs, synthetic ingredients
• Lightweight formula
• Hydrates skin
• Evens skin tone with sheer and natural coverage
• Infused with organic water to nourish and restore skin's moisture balance
• Contains SPF 15
• Contains safflower seed oil, jojoba seed oil, avocado oil and shea butter
• Formulated with EcoBlend to condition, fortify and protect skin from environmental purities
• Organisoy helps even skin tone and texture to restore skin smoothness
• Contains eco-olive, a natural antioxidant that shields skin
• Naturally perfects and protects

PS, I did this review on my own accord, and only because I love this product so much. Nobody paid me to say this, which goes to show how I feel on this stuff. I give it five stars. :)

PPS, I just have to say, five years ago, it was IMPOSSIBLE to find paraben-free/natural products in stores. I know because I read every single label of every single foundation and powder out there and they ALL contained parabens. Parabens are estrogenizers and anything you put on your skin leeches into your bloodstream. You don't want to be putting estrogenziers on your face every day -- it's just bad. So that's when I turned to the internet and after tons of research, decided on Everyday Minerals. Which is a great product line, but I think the coverage with this OrganicWear, even being a tinted moisturizer and not a foundation, is even BETTER!

This is not the best pic because it's not like it's close-up, but I am wearing the tinted moisturizer here. Accessory not included. ;)

Black Friday, psh....

Look at Grandma. She's doomed!!

I don't get into it. I never have. I used to tag along with my mom, aunts, and grandma back in the day, but only because I didn't drive (seriously, no license until I was 23 -- both for stupid and personal reasons, including a fear of driving) and today, I STILL wouldn't drive in that mess. I wouldn't even know where to park and would fear being stuck somewhere or having people honk at me because I can't find a spot fast enough, or getting mowed down by some crazy lady with a shopping cart and three Samsung flat screen TVs in it.

Some things about humanity bother me more than others. I am not going to say I take any issue with those who go out and get deals because my mom, whom I adore, is one of those people who gets up at the butt crack of dawn and goes shopping before work (and then goes out again after work).

However, it's when I hear stories of people bursting through the doors, pushing and shoving to get their kids the greatest and latest "stuff". Why do we let commercialism rule our lives? Is there any reason why THIS [insert 2012's hot toy item] will suddenly be what your kids want?

I'll tell you something. My kids only know public television. This is because we don't have cable. One of the major reasons why we don't have cable is because I don't want commercialism brainwashing my children. They don't know who a lot of the characters are (Spongebob) and they don't ask for toys they see in the commercials because they don't see the commercials. I am okay with my kids watching public television (no, not all day, just a few shows they like the most) because it's innocent programming which is actually educational. My oldest learned all of his letters by sight by 25 months by watching SuperWhy. My daughter has now learned a lot of hers from that show, too. The kids love Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and it's a cute show, I must admit!

We have one t.v. in our house. We will remain that way. My children will not have televisions in their rooms because they don't need them. And when they get to the age where they would like a cell phone because "Mo-om, all my friends have one... no fair", I will tell them that if they would like to get a job or baby-sit and pay for one themselves, they are welcome to. We are not in a world where it is impossible to live without a cell phone. Yet, people have become so reliant on them that they truly believe they can't function without one. Speaking of, I don't even have a smartphone. I don't even know if my phone is good enough to be called an "un-smart" phone. It's a regular ole' Tracfone which I can make/receive calls on (once a week, if that?) and text with. But I barely even use either feature. So I'm saving a lot of money by not having a contract and it costs me $100 a year total to own that phone.

My kids love books. At night when I'm home, they bring books to me and we read them. I have taped many of them and have become quite the master book repairer, but the books are well loved. I'm not saying some of those new toys aren't educational, but how many does a child really need? Play-doh time is also a favorite activity for us. It's a good, cheap, fun activity that allows them to be creative and use their imaginations.

Anyway, back to Black Friday. This weekend, DH did venture over to Menard's (surprise, surprise... for those who know him, he goes there multiple times a week and often leaves empty-handed -- just likes to browse). He brought home a painting kit (which we'll probably use -- we do have one wall in the living room we'd like to paint a deep plum), a set of glass bowls/containers (not Pyrex, but with snappable lids -- kind-of different, but practical), and two giant packages of toilet paper. Know what I'm excited about? The fact that I don't have to think about buying toilet paper for the next 4-5 months. Pretty darn awesome. :)

Geographical/directional Dyslexia

I have it!! HA! I finally have a name for this annoying thing I have. The inability to find my way around. Some people have a bad sense of direction. Mine is really bad!!

I am 32 years old, from a small enough area, yet I cannot figure out how to get someplace I've been hundreds of times if I try and drive there myself. I get all panicky. This is not a big city, but I cannot visualize how to get somewhere. I know in my head what the building looks like but have no idea which roads to go down to get there. I will spend 10-15 extra minutes navigating streets (some of them one way streets so I have to be careful), frantically searching for my destination. Many times, I will have driven past a place and then I always have to backtrack. Maps don't help, nor do directions. I have spent many sweaty minutes in my car, panicking over getting from point A to point B.

I can also be in the basement of my house I've lived in 7 years now and I don't know which rooms are above me. Whenever I leave the office at a clinic appointment, I stop outside the room and don't know how to get to the waiting area. I have constant dreams of being lost. In fact, I got lost during the first week of school in 7th grade, searching for my math classroom for 15 minutes before having to go to the office, and the secretary had to take me to class. I was 20 minutes late. It was a small school and only had one floor! My dreams, which are recurring, have the common topic of getting lost in school and not being able to find my locker, going on a trip and not being able to find the hotel room, or being lost on a cruise ship and unable to locate my family or our cabin. I wish I knew when someone said "go North", which direction that actually was. I do not "get" this concept and it doesn't come naturally to me. I have an amazing memory otherwise and can memorize things by sight and associate birthdays and dates with peoples' faces, and I'm an awesome speller and consider myself to have an above average reading level/intelligence, but directions = terrible. My mom is the same way but probably a little better at me at navigating.

P.S., don't mind me if I stop you and ask for directions. I honestly cannot help the way I am!! I have tried to get myself to "know" my way and it just doesn't work. Bah!

Not much going on . ..

My bathroom is mostly done being remodeled. The hubby put new wood flooring in and new ceramic tile by the tub/toilet (the area where if it gets wet, will be better to have tile vs. wood). Sunday into Monday, we painted the walls (he did more of it than I did. I hate painting but once we got going, it really wasn't bad and I actually like getting the fine detail areas).

Andrew has his first parent-teacher conference of the year tonight. Woohoo! :) I always enjoy going to these things and talking about his strengths/weaknesses. Plus since he has the same teacher as last year, we have already built a rapport. I love her and will seriously cry when he is done with this school year. But yet, he's blessed to have two years with her.

I am eating way too many cookies and that's kind-of counterproductive to working out. They're these Cafe Bistro Spekulatius cookies from Aldi. They're from Germany so no HFCS or GMO crap in them. Just good cookies. But I needed something to snack on at work since I literally only had water the other day and was like, this is not working to satiate my hunger.

I am going to pull the flute out in the next few days and play some Manheim Steamroller, as I do every year in November/December. I used to play much more. Much much more, in fact (in high school, I would practice up to 3/4 hours a day outside of school hours). I have this fear that I'll lose the skill or something but thankfully, playing only once a year has so far proven that I still have it. LOL.

Speaking of working out, I haven't been able to go since the day before Halloween! I had influenza a bad cold something that had me feeling like crap (fever, chills, body aches; headache) for 3.5 days. I even missed two days of work and that RARELY happens. I've been there 8 years and can count the days I've been gone. It's not allowed to work with a fever because of the clientele (elderly) we work with, but as it was, the day after Halloween I got up and took my shower and I was unable to stay standing as my whole body was numb. I took my temp and had a fever, so I spent the next few days trying to get some rest while three children literally climbed all over me. LOL. Fun times.

Not much else new! I'm so boring . . .

Oh, one thing to add. Andrew's school picture. Pre-k year 2, age 5. Isn't he adorbs?

Andrew's diagnosis

Well, long time no blog. It's because I've been busy, both with photo shoots and with appointments for my children. Anyway, the biggest news right now is that after our 2 day assessment at the clinic last week, it has been determined that Andrew has motor dyspraxia. Motor dyspraxia affects particularly the fine motor skills, and Andrew, while testing high on all other IQ assessments, tested in the first percentile for writing. He is at the level of a 15-30 month old for fine motor skills. Andrew turned five on August 25th. So what the plan of action is is to move forward with weekly Occupational Therapy appointments. They will work on things that Andrew has trouble with (writing in particular, but also buttons, zippers; cutting with scissors).

Dyspraxia affects boys more than girls. Four out of five diagnoses are boys.

They also stated that he has SID (Sensory Integration Disorder) and that there are some issues there, but nothing too serious (we notice that he loves long sleeves and that may just be an "Andrew" thing and certainly nothing that will negatively impact his day-to-day functioning). He fights us when he gets his hair washed, nails clipped, or teeth brush -- so that could be a sensory thing. He has issues with noise -- I.E., when I went to his classroom last year on Dr. Seuss' birthday and we all read books out in the halls of the school -- Andrew covered his ears and said, "it's too noisy, Mom" even though it was really just the noise of a lot of people reading at once. He could not focus.

He is being monitored for ADHD -- but not diagnosed with it at the time. He is also being monitored for dysgraphia, which is the inability to write or the inability to write clearly. OT and time will tell how well he does there. As of right now, he can trace letters, but cannot replicate or write out any letters.

The staff were so helpful and great and I'm very hopeful that Andrew will "fit in" just fine. He already is having a better school year this year than last (I am hereby recommending ANYONE with doubts on whether to send their young child to kindergarten early -- please hold back your summer birthday boys for a year because it will help them so much in the long run) and has many friends he plays age appropriately with. Last year, for comparison, he would only play at the sand/corn table (sensory) and didn't want to do anything else. He also had more outbursts/tantrums last year and this year he's holding it together.

So there you have it. Andrew will not be treated any differently by us as his parents and we hope that he succeeds and finds that one thing that interests him and goes for it. He may not be in sports, but maybe he will be a good writer someday. He's very social and makes everyone around him smile with his charming personality and questions he asks.